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Time & Space

One of the most prominent gifts God gives me is time, so I don’t waste it.

I believe many people take for granted this gift, and think they have all the time to get right socially, academically, with family, being a good friend, physically… we all have an expiration date. If we take too much time and space away from getting right and making a change. By the time you’re done contemplating on change (if you contemplate at all) you won’t even recognize the space you walk in.

This morning I was thinking about all the relationships I have had, and this across the board. Regular people, ex-boyfriends/ ex-girl-friends, associates, by-chance friends, whatever label you want to call these people, they have an expiration date too, or a season they dance in your life. And like a dandelion, they blow away and land on someone else’s season until they find their own home. However, the one associate that stuck out to me the most this morning is my oldest brother.

I haven’t seen this man in nearly 10 years. I haven’t had a brother-sister time since I was eight. And in essence, its been 18 years since he has known who I am. It saddens me that he has taken so much time and space that the only memory he really has of me is a child. He does not know me, who I am, what I’ve done, where I’m going, what my favorite color is, how many boy friends I’ve had, how many degrees I have, what I like to do… he knows absolutely nothing about me and who I am as a woman.

So much time has festered, it would take many years and patience for us to know one another all over again. I do not know my blood brother. And he does not know me. At this point I don’t think he cares. He won’t be in my wedding, he won’t know Jerome and I’s unborn child or his brother-in-law entirely, and yet another birthday of mine is coming, time and space goes by, and I think about if he walked right past me, it would suffice the relationship. He’s a stranger.

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